Late Night Complaint

Ya Allah kenapa sih ya akhir akhir ini cobaanya beraaaaat banget? Aduh maaf ya Allah kalau saya mengeluh terus, tapi seriusan deh .
Okay, now i just wanna write about my problems.

Firstly, it's about him. Actually I'm not so comfortable with this topic, but i really wanna share it.
As you all know, he's no longer single. It hurts more than you or even myself ever thought, you know why? because i never know if i was too deep to fall for him. i never realize that. I thought he would be just like another crush of mine, if i cant get him i'll get over him soon enough, but in fact i cant hardly forget him. Even my friends said that i'm not that into him, he's just a crush for fun. Oh now how i wish that he really just a crush for fun, but now i'm pretty sure he's not. I like him more than i ever thought.

Second, it's about school. Oh my, now school is just like a hell! I didnt felt this in my first year, why do i now?
Maybe it's because i love my first year so much that it seems i cant live my school life in this second year. My previous class is where i belong. They are my family whether they know it or not. And also in this second year the lessons are getting harder, the teachers are more scary and serious in this second grade.

The third problem is, IGCSE result will be reported soon! ......................................................
Now i just wanna be invisible. I wanna run from the reality.
okay guys, wish me luck, please pray for the best results, and i wish you all the goods for you too.

i'm feeling exhausted and dead.
it's like my life does not belong to me anymore
i feel like a robot which my life controlled by someone who hates me
and that one wants me to suffer.

oh no, i know.
it's all my fault, i let myself overjoyed, so that i forgot how the pressure feels like.